THOUGHTS ABOUT AGING ADVICE

THOUGHTS ABOUT GIVING ADVICE ON AGING – don’t ask for it I’m at that gray, bent, withering age where people add sir to what is said; women hold doors for me, and cars actually stop and wait for me to cross. I love it – age does have its benefits. The other day while checking out in a grocery line the male scanning my items stopped and asked, in a smiling voice, “Sir, how old are you?” I gave him my smiling 82 years and watched his face fill with amazement. “I hope I live that long,” he said. I didn’t say it but I thought: some of the shit I’ve done might kill you long before 82. Later, with groceries in hand I entered my apartment complex and was greeted with, “How are you today, sir?” Before I could reply, seeing my food items, he continues, “I see why you’re in such good health, at your age. I thanked him; thought it but didn’t say it: if you consume as much fat sugar and salt as I have you may not make it. My drug of choice it alcohol; hated doing lines, my sinuses screamed ‘what the fuck.’ Hated when the joint got to me; apparently my lungs and sinuses had reached an agreement. Alcohol wasn’t that much better but it seemed the least destructive; even though there were times I couldn’t find my ass with both hands. I had so much sex at one time in life my tongue and dick just quit. So I hope no one ever asked my advice for long living – I just might tell them. www.adolphusward.net